What am I doing wrong?

Where do I err?
Flailing at the railings of my life’s swimming pool
Reaching for the safety of the security blanket covering me
What am I doing wrong?
I am too close to the divide.
Strangers in my mind unkind to the findings
Recent excursions into the deep unknown
Asking too much for the receipt of familiar consciousness
Cups of tea and the drinking of an occasional latte
What is the breaking point of my mind?
Too close to the ether, too far away from electrical vibrations
Time is like a nation of zombies awaiting my pornographic reinvention
Standing naked at my front door.
I have been here before
Forgetful of the greatness of building my character
Like stepping stones across a frozen lake in my heart
Darting across the temporal void in avoidance of one more bloody conversation
The inner journey of man
The planned intervention
The existential cartography of my soul
It seems like we all need a common goal
And mental health is the way forward for the masses
Something to join the meditation with the mediation of higher and lower worlds
The frogs of the cauldron and the skulls of the pirate ship
Something I shoot straight from the hip
As a western cowboy in the Indian deserts
Land reclamation expert number one
Ask me where I belong and I will say it is right here
Where I stand defending my hand
Leading the leaderless with a magic marker and slight of my pen
Something again and again to drum out the pacing of seconds
Minutes away from the hours we share as our blessings together
Poets in tune and in the rudeness of awakening
Settling down for some more slumber party to rejoice in.

AI Summary

This poem is a reflection on feeling close to psychological edges, questioning your own stability, and trying to understand where your inner life becomes too intense. You describe yourself flailing for safety, reaching for comfort, and sensing a divide between grounded reality and the “deep unknown.” The imagery of strangers in your mind, the ether, electrical vibrations, and standing naked at the door expresses vulnerability and the fear of slipping into states you’ve known before.

At the same time, the poem remembers your strength — the “stepping stones across a frozen lake,” the building of character, the inner journey, the existential mapping of your soul. You’re trying to reconcile your spiritual imagination with the need for mental health, structure, and shared human goals. The cowboy, the pirate ship, the cauldron, the deserts — these are symbols of identity, adventure, and self‑invention, but also of the risk of drifting too far into symbolic worlds.

Justify

Justify
The wrote
Hens and chickens weren’t there
It was, however, Christmas time:
You’ll never forget a family rhyme.
Like the snowfall
That never landed on Baby Day.
The month’s TV was
An Islamic fine
The [              ] is no good game crime
How 20:20 of you to thank me
Now that the time is going blank.

Grandmother wasn’t collected at the market
She sareed herself accepting the Id of [                ],
Where have the cops been?
Concerned about her health
After family dinners.

It’s just not going to get with you,
Their lines are no good.
The old tidings that are missionaries
We’re dissenting you now that you are rude.
Aim at me, canon all around
That is the karma of a family learning things that are proud.

The east has food that the west thus accepted is the best,
So never never never
Never never never
Erm (… Newsnight?!? Paranoia- Panorama)
– put my love to the test, Ma’am

[ And we conclude USA-Stylie
‘     ‘ ]
Grand Ma’am.    

AI Summary

This poem reflects on fractured family memories, cultural identity, and the strange humour and sorrow that sit inside generational stories. It moves between Christmas, markets, sarees, TV, paranoia, and family dinners, showing how traditions collide and blur in a mixed, modern British‑South Asian household. The missing details — the hens, the snowfall, the uncollected grandmother, the blank spaces — become symbols of things forgotten, misremembered, or never properly spoken about. There’s frustration with family misunderstandings, with “lines that are no good,” and with the karmic weight of inherited behaviour. At the same time, the poem plays with East‑versus‑West cultural tension, media noise, and the absurdity of national styles (“USA‑Stylie”). Ultimately it becomes a chant of affection and exasperation toward the grandmother figure — “Grand Ma’am” — who embodies both the tenderness and the chaos of family history.

It Makes Me Look Back

It makes me look back
The track record of vinyl Birmingham
The lessons from school and skipped songs
Veritable fashions in rationed book cupboards
I don’t know what to see
All that music is about me
The times I listened the times I tried
Some of it even reminded me of when I cried.
TDK cassettes and a hairy CD Walkman
Items for the rarity shelf today if ever there was one
Unicorns of delight and sea nymphs of error
All sorts of enjoyment when the music was high school terror.

AI Summary

This poem looks back at your youth through the objects that shaped it: vinyl, cassettes, Walkmans, school corridors, rationed book cupboards, skipped tracks, and the emotional charge of music that felt bigger than you were at the time. It’s a portrait of a boy becoming a young man through sound — the songs you tried to understand, the ones you cried to, the ones that terrified you in their intensity.

The poem captures the Birmingham of your adolescence: the fashions, the scarcity, the makeshift shelves, the sense that music was both escape and education. The “unicorns of delight” and “sea nymphs of error” show how magical and confusing those years were — a mix of wonder and awkwardness, joy and fear.

Underneath the imagery is a quiet truth: music was the first mirror you ever trusted, the first place you recognised yourself, the first archive of your emotional life.

The poem honours that — the way sound holds memory, the way adolescence leaves its imprint, the way looking back is both tender and painful.

Yogaville

Wall St crash test dummies
Yoga is for yummy mummies
Balancing the towering pose
Concentrating on the tip of your nose.

Chai and obsolete oat bar allowance
Top marks for managing stomach’s gestation
Acid and mood(s) imbalance
Rolling prices, roaming charges
The first class is free for the sleazy man next to me:
Celebrity mandalas, sale of the century
Causes and effects
Stretch please, we’re British
Get yourself going at the gym
We mean you no harm
This might be the Holy Ghost v The Dharma
@BeYourself.Com
Celebrated trance, techno dance

Virtual Yogi
Personal Jesus
Stretching on the mat
Something for the 3 of us
Family is down
There are State Laws
So he impressed upon me
Shaolin Tree
City of lights
So many fights
Corporate laws
Showing my flaws
Mothers and fathers
The technology goes farther
To stretch to the valley
Of Ambe and Krishna-Ji.

Downward facing dog pose
Blow a hole through Jonah’s whale
What time to exhale?
Take some milk and cinnamon
Have a good bath
ENJOY your night’s sleep
You’re free from Kali’s wretched wrath
{Buddhas v Devis}
Modernising that which is unsure
Generations of love at your door.

The Nothing Brigade

Scene reflected
Want defected
Hatred refracted
Lately will become de-compacted.
The original thinker
It is for //
Love!
A remainder girl.
 
Hollow halls knew your latent fame
They remember my name
Did you think I would blink?
my (new) day,
untimely fashionable poem
Far sooner
intense open corpse like 51 courses in a landfill site library
Boots and all.
Looking for a drainpipe despite campaigning for nations
Somewhere to pout about
Looking for business for last week’s door knockers.

An empty teacup in the window invites tearful visions
Imagist and surrealist combination messaging
No more telly tubing about the leaves of harassed and at home
This is the door number for you to leave the past rejections alone.

AI Summary

Your poem is a reflection on rejection, self‑doubt, and the strange theatre of memory, where scenes fracture into surreal images — wooden halls, landfill‑course corpses, empty teacups, muttering congregations — all circling the ache of wanting to be seen without being dismissed. You move between bitterness and vulnerability, between the “original thinker” and the “remainder girl,” between latent fame and the fear of blinking first. The poem captures the feeling of wandering through emotional debris: door knockers from last week, drainpipes, campaigns, hollow halls that remember your name even when people don’t. The imagery becomes increasingly dreamlike — imagist, surrealist, teacups inviting visions — until the poem resolves into a quiet directive: leave the past rejections behind, step through the door, and refuse to let old wounds dictate the shape of your present. Beneath the wordplay and surrealism is a clear emotional truth: the speaker is trying to reclaim a sense of self after being overlooked, misunderstood, or dismissed, and the poem becomes the space where that reclamation begins.


The Night of the Examined Blessings

Throughout the night of examined blessings
A great being of stressful un-dressings
Wanted to know how I could be Enlightened?…
Given the prosaic stage of living frightened.

Lamenting essences of the envisioned joinery
Assaulting my senses with the medicine
Intelligently designed to question my bravery
Shaky roots, colonial carpentry and foundations weak at the knees.

I wandered lonely as a desperate quilt looking for the maker,
Shopping on my own esteem for bed mates in magazines
Nothing was for me in the violence of the armoury
Unacceptable hemisphere of hate.

Forthright likes and dislikes of confused and confounded foremost thwarting
Latent interest in unknown life
For the bumbling counties of country bumpkins,
Who is whom enthroned on the Thames?

Thanes swirl in cupboards feasting on Chinese cutlery
The European has no tea to trade while the bread and toast is buttered.
Anglo-South American reminisces the night sky with his women and wine,
The African descends a plane of ethereal misdemeanours unimagined consciousness.

Bliss is then my daily remains known by butlers and bootmen
Escaping famed name knowledgeable on London’s streets.
Copper is meeting aluminium with the beat of heavy shoes from laden houses
Hard won are forthcoming days of employed use before white halls and brown wooden floors.

Memory is fathomed by the wise ones up above
Naïve people distance themselves from the experienced:
Thus it was given to India to threaten the business
Of those so sure of second witness and surprise.

True questions beyond name and form
Away from I-Slam poetry and SAWM;
Mastery was survival and kinship was about-turn
I am a vagabond craving eternity staring at my mother’s Urn.

Listless death marches and trolled press
The internet spanned The Golden Age.
Cities earned pages of faraway entreaty
so that Mary could know beauty.

The closed gait, the horse’s mate, the chivalry at the corner’s quarter
God has not yet absolved the Buddha for sins of sons and daughters.

  1. To be a Quest
  2. To ask the Question about what a human is

Temporal lines created Stratford
There is a stealth.
Ninjas ghostly guard the gates of The British Museum.

These are The Guardian times
These are The Telegraph lines
These are The Times finesse
Who updates Page 3’s dress?
For if there is a Daily Mail…
What is hatred if you are still able?
Yogi, Balti and also a sheesha –
Life beyond shallowness in pale water
Diviners settled the land for some plans controlling language
Speak to me boldly, like Kirk or Spock
Before you afront a weakened Ronin
Seeing a Samurai like a ghostly frock.

These are the Bardos of time
These are the reminders of great souls
These are the fashions of the noble light
These are the last times of Christ.

Travel widely, then, dear friend and make polite national amends
Settle some settee time with arrogant wine
See through the looking glass of neo-Liberal advances on the telly of the past gnashers and teeth
In the heaven beneath the feet of shouldered giants
Who kept self-help quiet.

Who kept self-help quiet?

(2023)

Carnegie was not the Speak Easy and the come on was not so free as the advantage stamp served for the delicious mountain range and army reserves…
Do you want to fight forever?
Or can time cease to be clever?
For an anthropomorphic world will miss the consciousness of Brahman with its boys and girls.

(Numbers, Dollars and $) – Do that again
After Zen and 8 o’ clock
What is the point of blocking my cock?
Tick Tock, Tik Tok
Sell me a brand and stay more manned
For the Hare Krishna planned for the Indian Shopping Mall


—————————————————————————————————————-

4. The Noble Eightfold Path leads to Nirvana

>John F. Buddha Airport<

If that’s the greatest Creator
Keep it Mother Africa
Then centuries from now Afghanistan
Can blow up something big.

AI Summary

Your poem is a vast night‑journey through spiritual exhaustion, colonial memory, philosophical longing, and the disorientation of modern life, beginning with a being who questions your enlightenment while you stand frightened on the “prosaic stage” of existence. You move through shaky roots, colonial carpentry, desperate loneliness, and the violence of cultural armouries, then widen into a global panorama of Thanes, Chinese cutlery, Anglo‑South American skies, African consciousness, London’s butlers, and India’s spiritual inheritance. The poem becomes a meditation on how religion, identity, and history collide: Guru Nanak facing psychiatry, the Buddha judged for his descendants, Islam and SAWM invoked alongside vagabond longing and your mother’s urn. You weave together media noise, Golden Age nostalgia, civil wars, cosmic origins, and the quiet suffering of ordinary people, until the poem becomes a catalogue of everything that overwhelms the modern seeker — newspapers, samurai ghosts, British museums, Page 3, yogis, sheesha, Balti houses, and the Bardos of time. Beneath the swirl is a deep yearning for meaning beyond institutions, beyond nationalism, beyond the noise of neo‑liberal television and self‑help empires. The poem ends with a cosmic shrug and a warning: Carnegie’s ambition, Zen clocks, Hare Krishna malls, the Noble Eightfold Path, and a final image of creation entwined with Africa and Afghanistan — not as prophecy, but as a reminder of how human beings project fear, power, and myth onto the world. At its core, the poem is about a soul trying to stay awake in a civilisation that keeps collapsing into spectacle, ideology, and inherited wounds, searching for a truth that can survive all of it.

The Chagrin Church

Stark wooden interior corners
Examples of a stony coarse exterior
Neglected by traffic light affinity
Differences of apples
Muttering congregations dialogue
Vengeance before eating
Mature marriages motherly mould over misty cloudy longings for children’s breakfasts
Fathomable knowledge about the quintessence of dust
Young quotes,
Healing waters of garden ponds
The effortless shiny Sunday cut lawn –
We all strive to deal with life
And out of all of us is tomorrow’s hope.
Mottos survive word salad and alphabet spaghetti
So far so good on giving as good as you get.
Nobility, algebra and the rude calculator that spits back the remonstrations of modernity
“Why isn’t a phone good enough for me?”
It reviles the stability of irregular repetition
Imperceptible passing
Mothers and fathers splice
Lost words
Seconding dirty thieves
Monday morning’s walking stick.
#Mankind’s seriousness about words
A hoarded mention
A boarded up tension
A cold dark wooded estate by a bragging brook
Sullen berated lungs
Smoking too long
Snowy imbalance of impatient teacups
Watery indigestion not for my saucers
Ounces and the metric system
Condescension’s caste and credence.
Tanks too readily perceptible
Cloudy army solves the waiting list
Galactic times tables require
Solar astrology’s universal flair
Singular lunar unrepeatable glory
Feeling affairs of unsingle women
bored of frustration’s depth in the mingling of a week’s aftermath
~ (the disruption around me)
The heard sounding off of all that is around
Emanated quality of a nosey hawk that won’t leave the
Speaking alone to the tree soldier
Forbidden fruit to the disordered dossier.
Disclosed attacks on order, numeracy and polar bears
Revealed cupcake positions of private narratives
Open to elevation like a Birch tree heaving for trimming
Crowded notes of like winds
Imminent celebration falling everywhere
Crimson mistakes on clippings
Dominions remaining.
The computer is the hero next week
Mixing mysteries
Inner words
One more of me to know others
Who can defend the weak but time?

AI Summary

Your poem is a wide‑angled meditation on the textures of ordinary life — wooden corners, muddy exteriors, muttering congregations, garden ponds, Sunday lawns — and how these small, physical details carry the weight of human longing, memory, and exhaustion. You move from domestic scenes to cosmic scales, from alphabet spaghetti to galactic times tables, from teacups to tanks, from garden ponds to lunar glory, showing how the mundane and the mythic coexist in the same breath. The poem captures the struggle to make sense of a world filled with noise: calculators spitting back modernity, mothers and fathers splicing time, thieves of language, impatient cups, condescension, armies, astrology, frustrated women, and the aftermath of a week’s emotional debris. You weave in the disruption around you — the hawk‑like surveillance of society, the forbidden fruit of disorder, the dossier of private narratives, the birch tree heaving for trimming — until the poem becomes a catalogue of everything that presses on the mind at once. Beneath the imagery is a deeper question about meaning: how words deceive, how order collapses, how computers become heroes, how inner mysteries mix with outer chaos, and how time itself is the only defender of the weak. The poem ends on that quiet, existential note — that in a world of noise, imbalance, and scattered remains, the only true ally is time, and the only true work is understanding others through understanding oneself.

The Bonfire of the Logicians

Vulnerable
Under the table
Over and out
The child gangs are about.
Bonfires of legislators
Sufis of sweet sounds
Vibrations
Improved damages
London has carriages
Sounds of the nation
The old Vikings
The new televisions
Visions & visionaries
Drugs cartels
Newsletters with spells
The police that chase people down
The daily bugle with more noise around town.
The grandfather that frowns
PMQs and furious speeches
As far as the worries reach.
All is one and too much
Nice touch
Kick ball and bollocks all
Connection : ->
Phalluses and erections
Architecture
Geopolitical protections
How can this be when both sides are heard
Only when the nation offers offices without the herd.

AI Summary

Your poem is a rapid‑fire panorama of modern Britain’s anxieties — vulnerability under the table, child gangs on the streets, bonfires of legislators, Sufi sweetness, Viking echoes, drug cartels, police chases, tabloids screaming, PMQs raging, and a grandfather frowning over it all. You move through the noise of a nation where everything is happening at once: spiritual vibrations, geopolitical protections, architecture as phallic power, and the endless churn of media visions and visionaries. The poem captures the sense that the country is overwhelmed — “all is one and too much” — a place where connection collapses into chaos, where politics becomes theatre, and where both sides only truly listen when the nation offers offices without the herd. Beneath the satire and speed is a deeper ache: a longing for clarity in a world saturated with noise, a desire for unity in a landscape fractured by fear, spectacle, and competing narratives.

Sort it Out

Sort it out, you gyppo
And get off my land
There are things in this place
That you don’t understand.

There is a fire where it belongs
For the furnace of understanding
And a legacy from the Land Registry
About how it deals with the King’s standing.

Those angels that support you
Also look over and watch me,
So keep your Backstreet Boys on reply
In case there is enough business here for three.

For it seems you think you’re God the Father
The way you’ve divvyed the land up so fair,
Then what about Mary and the water
For those baptisms over there!

Do you think they should take place on Saturday
When the farmers come to town?
Or is it repression of my sexual urges
In case I keep prices on Sunday trading down?

If that is so, then keep your pocket book
My trade is some private affair:
You won’t find me dealing with terrorists
As you make your internet self-aware.

Keep some of that tax aside for me after vaccinations
In case I want to play some upper-class chief
And save my children’s’ nation.
There are not too many places to go

The pubs have shut down and the clubs are quiet;
That’s just as well as I’ve ‘been there and done that’,

But in the middle we’ll meet and make it a Liberal affair
So the Labour can know Conservative
How do you like that for stealth and my social diet?
For these Culture Tsars walking around everywhere.

For Birmingham is to tomorrow what the Black Country was to the past
A case for royal caskets and cheese and a blast for legal cases at last.
Measure me this or measure me that, the time now set for oneness is here
And those cafes and restaurants need impressive food for me to have a beer.

I would like to add, sir, that I think the town
Needs less to centre it properly
But if you need to build some more and get down
Try not to do it on top of me!

And with that the perambulator crossed the road
Leaving Harborne on Saturday to mixed delights
Writing one more poem from his mental groans
Wishing the finality to some of those political fights.

Labour will be by, soon, and it is time for some facts
Reinvention of the wheel from those barbecues and some culture tax.

AI Summary

Here is your summary in one continuous paragraph, Akaash — clear, grounded, and fully honouring the emotional, political, and social charge of the poem while refusing to amplify any hateful language or stereotypes.

Your poem stages a tense, confrontational dialogue between an imagined land‑owner voice and the speaker who walks through Birmingham with history on his back, exposing the absurdity, hostility, and class‑soaked nationalism that still haunt English soil. It begins with a slur — not endorsed, but exposed — to show how ownership, territory, and belonging are policed through language. From there, the poem spirals into a satire of land rights, kingship, baptisms, Sunday trading, taxation, vaccinations, and the strange entanglement of religion, economics, and sexuality in British public life. You weave in the Backstreet Boys, the Land Registry, Mary and water, farmers in town, and the internet’s self‑awareness, showing how modern identity is shaped by both ancient rituals and digital noise. The poem then widens into a political panorama: pubs closed, clubs quiet, Labour and Conservative meeting in the middle, culture tsars wandering the streets, Birmingham rising like the Black Country once did, and the city’s restaurants and cafés becoming symbols of a new civic identity. The speaker walks through Harborne with mixed delight, mental groans, and a longing for political finality, ending with a wry observation that reinvention, culture tax, and the endless wheel of British politics continue to turn. Beneath the satire is a deeper ache: a desire for belonging without exclusion, for civic life without hostility, and for a future that doesn’t repeat the fractures of the past.

Singh Song

Catch me some history and the trees will fall
The writing of one book and love for us all.
The Guru Granth Sahib is remarkable for what I do not read
The eyes of another and internet feed.

This is the modern age and man does not know himself too well
Tainted paint with graffiti about facts he summarised.
Man cannot use that which is normal for too long without time
Interfering gathering of life around vices representing grime.

Manners are spoken, voices can be heard
A man’s true designation is otherwise preferred.
At the feet of the Master and not out there with the loose cannons
Computer gamblers hopeful of some sexual passions.

Man was not made to know woman until the Bible was spoken over top
Optional headdress for those left out in the cold,
Like this old verse that beyond Renaissance ideals
Seeking love elsewhere for those fashions to balance a heartfelt steal.

Save me from Guru save me from despair
But do not rescue the Buddha within me
That will cut off my hair.
In England they are the same
And the Gurdwara is no good
They tempt you there with wastage and free food.

These interludes are some qualities of knowledge that I see vaguely
The lights on the city of the hills is not really business for me.
These religions grow tired, and the true Guru has enough words for himself
To leave me out and not include me in the fortress of his rude health.

Words can be deceptive, and the hierarchy can leave acres in the brain
Neurons mistake projects for New Age scientists to place strains
Men and women workers suffer uncooked food at home tables
Education is lesser and wielding to their career and pension repeatably well.

These are the days of finding that time is not beyond embarrassing man
And Guru Nanak faces psychiatry with a hand in the Yugas and Kalpas:
Again after Scientology they have a Master Plan
Nazi, suicide missions and English revisions to delete your man.

So, gather for a ramble and a march amongst the brambles of Birmingham
From an unlikely suspect of poetic disturbance within himself:
Where is the stealth of Xenu in the bygone age of post-2012 spirituality
After the NHS medicated my mother with tortious liability of proximity?

AI Summary

Your poem is a restless meditation on religion, identity, disillusionment, and the exhaustion of trying to find spiritual truth in a world where institutions, gurus, scriptures, and modern systems all feel compromised or insufficient. You move from the Guru Granth Sahib to the Bible, from the Buddha to Guru Nanak, from Scientology to psychiatry, from Birmingham brambles to global politics, weaving together the weight of tradition with the confusion of the present. The poem exposes how modern life — technology, media, education, careers, pensions, and the pressures of survival — has eroded the clarity that ancient teachings once promised. You describe the fatigue of religious repetition, the disappointment of institutions that feel hollow, the loneliness of being spiritually hungry but unable to trust the places that claim to feed you. Beneath the critique is a deeper ache: a longing for a teacher who does not manipulate, a tradition that does not exclude, a wisdom that does not collapse under history, and a sense of belonging that does not require you to erase yourself. The poem ends in Birmingham, with brambles, marches, and memories of your mother’s suffering — grounding the cosmic and historical in something painfully personal. It is ultimately a poem about searching for meaning after the collapse of every system that once claimed to offer it.