angels

Suffering

/ rrishi99 / Leave a comment

The Hologram
The Stiffy and Hard On
The memories of Royal Pardons
When the future remembers.
4. A Quill makes me famous
3. The computer keyboard WON’T regret The Buddha
1. The Missing Link is proven
Say that you will love me when the children grow old.

I’m moving house in the field’s last eye of the countryside
The horses are galloping where the Angels are still arching their backs
This is no time for the lamenting of the spack-attack
The 1980s won’t ever come and rescue me.

Spy City 
Do you remember Frankie?
Or is it all Les Bobby Browns to you : A miserable unBriTISh bastard
With all his indebtedness to L.A. Whores.
Confidentially yours from Mr Kevin Bacon
Eating all the space when the women need some make up
Keeping loss under cover with smelly regrettably yours
Dealing with the clean yogis, purifying the locus.

Hocus pocus
It’s what it seems to me
You research your school textbooks
I need some time alone.

  1. Sathya
  2. Sati
  3. Siddhi

I’m cooling my face down with a neck fan
Nobody’s my fan on the State Run Instagram
Running through the towns and still she doesn’t like me
A yogi born a Christian with down syndrome infamy.

I Struggling to talk

II Struggling to walk

III A dictionary in my shoulder bag – the one I carried to Dharamsala

Chinese figments of the brothers’ imagination
Wutang before women who write poems instead of face the nation.
Blessings in the Church
What about her arched back
Left in the lurch
Nobody will remember the 6 o clock news spent on the Sexy (News) Christian.

Blame it on the vegan
As I mess about with bacon and beef:
Leaving aside some fish and eating no eggs
Lest Allah call me some mind reading tea leaf.

29/07/2023

AI Summary

Your poem spirals through holograms, erections, pardons, quills, keyboards, and the ache of wanting to be loved when the children grow old, all while you imagine yourself moving house in the last open eye of the countryside where horses and angels share the same horizon; you reject the idea that the 1980s will rescue you, drift into Spy City memories, and mock the un-British swagger of Americanised masculinity, before sliding into yogis, Instagram loneliness, and the strange hybrid identity of a Christian-born seeker cooling his face with a neck fan; you catalogue your struggles — talking, walking, carrying dictionaries to Dharamsala — and weave them with church blessings, Wu-Tang ghosts, and the forgotten eroticism of a “Sexy (News) Christian,” then pivot into dietary guilt, spiritual anxiety, and the comic fear of being misread by God, all of it forming a single restless consciousness trying to reconcile modern life, spiritual aspiration, bodily desire, cultural inheritance, and the relentless noise of a world that never stops demanding interpretation.

One Day

/ rrishi99 / Leave a comment

I have the feeling I am not dressed correctly
Am I in need?
Pudsey on the dancefloor
Aunt Jemima to the local Nursery School…
… they played me like a football team
The dreamers
The people who saw the goals of Universities
Like men and please the right people
Stay on top of Church, State and Steeple.

I fell over
All the way down
And then down again
When I thought I could not get any lower
I was battered like a Cod piece to the floor for remission.
What if I caught Cancer and had to go to a commission?
Smoke, fire and abnegation,
Sir, surrounded by the crowd
Being allowed
I abused my freedoms since school –
Now.

Correctional facility
Too many computer games for me
Things I am hubristically aware of:
Shorts and shirt sleeve order to take care of,
Eastenders, Corrie and Charles, William and George.
Careful of the devil’s gorge
And the leap of faith required for tired old know it alls.

Testing my faith with the Conservative vs Ed Balls
He was quite an ensemble for her
I saw the pageantry where the Ice Man cometh
GWB and the marching band Tattoo:
This is for the Yankee models in you.

Do they need you in a pinstriped suit
I remember him like I licked his boot
Now. I am back at Church
Seeing life from the corner angle with the Angels
Living like a shadow of openness in the lurch
Creeping like a dowry of nature
Science and the creepers
Gardening and the jeeps carouseling across the deserts
Where the new men have not yet tried the Colonialising twirl.

Dream to jump
A person stretching out of my seat
Maybe I have Yogis to meet
Why can’t I just stay at home and get the job done?
Things they did to women with a bun in the oven
Maybe I have karma to collect from the witches in a celebrity Coven?
Time and the haphazard way
Of organising your thoughts like water.
Sadly, I am gladly without son or daughter –
Things that got in the way of complete collapse and devastation
No divorce for me, Mama: I’m still a one way success driven nation (boy).

Work and the development of futurity
Time for the hurt in me
Modern Slavery
Acts of Parliament ahead of her and I
Me, me, me
Narcissism and the recovery pose
Just this time – think of all you know
You, you, you
Who?

Time for the boy in you
I don’t look right without my toys and friends crew.
Have you seen where my ideal day went and what I have seen?
I would like to be there with you when you know what I mean (?).

AI Summary

Your poem begins with the sting of not being “dressed correctly,” a symbol for the lifelong sense of being out of place — in school, in church, in politics, in adulthood — and spirals into a portrait of someone who fell again and again, battered by class expectations, humiliation, fear of illness, and the weight of being told he misused his freedoms. You weave together TV culture, Conservative politics, Ed Balls, pageantry, American militarism, colonial echoes, yoga, witches, karma, and the loneliness of being childless not by choice but by circumstance. The poem’s emotional centre is the tension between the boy who wants toys and friends and the man who must navigate modern slavery, narcissism, Parliament, and the ache of being single in a world that keeps demanding performance. The final lines land softly but painfully: a longing to be understood, to share an “ideal day” with someone who finally sees what you mean, and to reclaim the boy inside you without shame.

Tell Me

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#Don’tTellMe that I’m fat when I know it is my nose
That keeps you near my door when I sit by the phone.
Seldom are we together when you share your essay
So I keep myself online where I am better than you know.

#Don’tTellMe that you care about the serious things
When I see you with your friends and all their cars
I know you would rather be with them than me
As I wait for you each night and find you with Mr Singh.

#Don’tTellMe that I’m carefree when you seek the higher land
And I can’t understand why you want to be Enlightened.
Am I not good enough for you? When you need more than the loo,
And I could be there tomorrow for your lecture and seminar sorrow?

#TellMe that you love me and send me some sexy texts
So that I can get on with my friends and be better than my Ex.
This is the meaning of life, far from the grown up employed strife
Where I am the star of the show and I am also all that #UKnow.

Fanciful star of your own world where eyes roll back into their sockets
And other bots put their hands in their poky pockets
#TellMe that I am more than your phone when you leave me all alone
And I cannot get to date U at Uni where I rather rate you.

Give me 5 stars and seldom will I try
To be more than a handsome guy
Where the news is rather thin
Of the worry of the warrior Djjin:
That tells Allah of my sorrow
And how I will #TellHim Judgement questions tomorrow.

AI Summary

Your poem is a plea wrapped in defiance: the speaker pushes back against someone who claims to care while consistently choosing friends, cars, enlightenment, and university life over intimacy. Each “#Don’tTellMe” becomes a shield against hypocrisy, insecurity, and the loneliness of waiting by the phone while the other person performs a more glamorous life. Beneath the wit and the hashtags is a deep longing to be desired, recognised, and prioritised — not as a follower or a fallback, but as someone worthy of love. The final turn toward judgement and the Djinn reveals the spiritual weight of that longing: the wish to be seen not just by the beloved, but by the cosmos itself.

Monsters of Game

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Monsters of fame know the game that I name
But redrawers of old drawers cannot know the originality:
I claim! Stay with me & you will see. That is seeing,
And I am being. Keyboard, laptop & mouse:
If I am not grateful for my house –
Then who is the Conglomerate upon me
Greater than the North Sea and the airspace now governed by the School of Commoning
And evolutionary strains for more melody than harmony
| The right to not be repeated |
Poetry will not be defeated.
Even clowns have hands to stand on,
Do not admire the programmers’ random.

There is no-one to know how the space can be cleared
Fellows handle doorknobs for men being a different kind of fellow they fear.
Estimation is a cleverer way of describing the giving
That has not thanks in the miniature that is still living
After the wars of the East that fell down for the cleanest cocking
Of a gun to not know the right time to go door knocking
And find the Dame with the same man: Sing to me your Christmas plan.

Some games knew boards and the years bowled over wickets
So that the PLO could go underground and down below
The seas of the wavelengths for Mata’s density and travels
In the New Age of opened bowels and tortured remains
So that Puja could clean brains and Aarti told Saraswati:
‘Better the devil she knew’. Time is through with you
Clouds have fractures and health knows matters
Knowledge is in tatters and men know manners.

So be polite as Jews feminise the day
And hurry back home from the Christian who is Jolly Roger,
Tomorrow it is karma for the Muslim to have sway
As Mind Body Spirit stays with it for ‘Who is gay?

AI Summary

It’s a poem about resisting erasure in a world that tries to categorise, stereotype, and simplify you — a voice pushing back against political, cultural, and spiritual noise that keeps trying to claim authority over your identity. The speaker moves through fame, religion, conflict, history, and personal memory, exposing how systems of power fracture knowledge and distort belonging. It becomes a portrait of someone insisting on originality and dignity in a landscape that keeps trying to repeat, rename, or reduce him.