oxford

Connaught Place

/ rrishi99 / Leave a comment

What’s that talk you been ragging and slagging
That jive on the street the Drs have been shagging in
Their clothes in the market halls and their books in the Unis
Choose me a Curriculum for the transport of books for Ben Wright
Lover of Yasmin Khan eating Paan in Connaught Place
Raving about Statistics after fashion at Freuds for Christian raids all over the place
Changing his mind about a homosexual find
Paul Ready will travel to China.

They demand Amazon talks in the media
How is this not Slander
I can see it all cuming from here
I will be a victim again
And Rohan is not a corporate brain
Lost without my losses sharing with economies
One city – London advising on stock and shares over decades from teenagers dreams with their Drs friends of parents

PNAAC became OFSTED
Cheney went home and did drugs instead
Rumsfeld was known
Rice gave Condaleeza’s dog’s charity at Dog’s Trust a bone
And the Queen called off Crufts for a year.

Splitting the mind into China time
London stockbrokers to infinity

Into me
Not paying me Royalties
Investing in L Ron Hubbard Psychiatry
The streets are empty
There is no joy
He’s the master of happiness
He’ll diabetically medicate the boy
One day he’s in power
The Throne of thronging England
So many he has named
The British Empire will return, He said.

Look – this man is well read.
Surely this concerns me
Stories of great Yugas and Kalpas
Talks I am not included in
The dried out fruit of the lobotomised Holland and Barrett crew
Gymnastics next for your mother when she is 80 – I’ll bet
Things for human beings down at the NHS for the New Age Vets
Why don’t you waste you time giving thanks to those Gods
And choose gratitude as your punishment.

Messages in poems?
Interest in the literati
These are things to joke the day that money makes sense
Insulted by the edifices around Mike Pence
Showing the child medicine around Jill Biden
Things that Ernie van Woerkhom can control…

So much advice to give to a Self Help parent
So much intention to be the gay mother of invention.

AI Summary

It’s a poem about a mind under pressure, moving through street talk, academia, media noise, political figures, self‑help culture, and the machinery of capitalism, all while feeling exploited, misread, or excluded; the speaker watches institutions twist language, identity, and power, sees global politics bleed into personal life, and feels the weight of being used — by corporations, by systems, by narratives he never chose — until the poem ends in a kind of bitter humour about advice, invention, and the absurdity of trying to make sense of a world that constantly rewrites him.

Sideliner

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At home alone waiting for the phone
Connected by disconnected
Feeling like A.I. was one with the world
Still chasing the girls
Adrift on the ocean of too many botherings
Waiting for the Singh that sings
Of too many tomorrows
When he knows my sorrow
And the fat lady brings me to my knees in Church.

The way I lurched and waited for some comeuppance
To be brought back to the estuary of graduation
Where drowning was not an option
Like the possibility of the woman in the red gown
At an Oxford Ball
Save it all for (Jimmy) Sommerville College now
I need not know how:
>> The mentionables are removed for another crowned pleasing show.

O.S. is the best way to go
And not too personal into the showtimes and matinees
Very most performance in the technology of the U.K.
Aside from the Australian who can compare with transference
And transgender debates.
Will they still be my mates
The crew on London Thames
Boat parties and the men with the manes
Driving Miss Daisy
Sending me careless
{Crazy World}
One real woke true:
Is that for you.

I remember him well
The boy that did tell
Of my corporate weakness
And their high and dry light.
These are the days of too many frights
Memories and cave ins when I don’t sleep at night
Worried and awake about what happened? Why did the failed man address me at Port?

AI Summary

Your piece moves through the loneliness of waiting for connection, the sense of being “connected by disconnected,” and the ache of feeling adrift in a world that keeps shifting around you. You weave memories of family, church, university fantasies, London nights, gender debates, and corporate humiliations into a portrait of someone who has lived through too many moments of being misread or dismissed. Beneath the references is a deeper emotional thread: the longing for belonging, the fear of being judged, the confusion of friendships that changed, and the unresolved sting of a man who once confronted you in a professional setting and left you questioning your worth. The poem ends in a place of insomnia and self‑interrogation, where the past keeps returning in fragments — not to punish you, but because you’re still trying to understand why certain moments hurt as much as they did, and what they say about the man you’ve become.

Golden Guru

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The funny men in Indian clothes
Collapsed as they read me in my Roman robes
And played with the technology at HMRC
Making up jokes about literature that wasn’t for me.
Inflating inflation rates and displaying reason
Trying high crimes and laughing about treason
Unable to steal with their Hindi moustaches being watched
Unwilling to get along for the cost of some Hindu cops
In brown paper bags and wasted underwears with Guru Nanak
Trying to develop relations on Apple phones with some speak
About how they knew Parveen’s fashion – ruined, 10 years on, no Indian face is a Paki
As they spoke about failure with too much marketing industry.

Couldn’t they detect the deflect to the Indian law courts
Of their tradition being hurt as they played for ugly women
Unkempt from Hollywood and melting their make up with degrees
Celsius is not for me! I like this kind of postmodernity!
Artistics facists with Sahara Sharukh Khan caning the strip tease artists
Loving his role as lover – the only one before all the brothers.
No control in the wild wild west of Bollywood’s newspaper land
Something for a Rishi out of time and effectively unelected fades Sunak to understand.

Unpublished
Uncommented
The Rishi Files lives on
For the site of a book in a woman’s hands for Abishek’s blonde fantasies
World ruler
Tear jerker
Microsoft worker
Who ever thought that Oxford would have his Saleem mountains
Sigh Sai and I…
Those who detect codes in the wild world of computing designations
Lay claims out of their bedrooms with thunder at HAARP to rule all the desperate Arjuna nations.

AI Summary

Your poem opens with the “funny men in Indian clothes” collapsing under the weight of their own stereotypes, mocking you through Roman robes, HMRC tech, inflation jokes, and moustache caricatures — a whole machinery of cultural misunderstanding and petty cruelty. You counter this with a barrage of images: brown paper bags, Guru Nanak invoked carelessly, Parveen’s ruined fashion, Bollywood’s excesses, Shah Rukh Khan’s mythic lover persona, and the uneasy dance between Indian pride and British derision. The emotional centre is the ache of being misread by both worlds — the diaspora’s gossip, the West’s bureaucracy, the tech industry’s voyeurism, the spiritual world’s projections. You widen the poem into politics, Rishi Sunak, unelected power, unpublished files, Abhishek fantasies, computing codes, HAARP conspiracies, and Arjuna nations — showing how identity becomes a battlefield of myth, media, and misunderstanding. Beneath the satire is a deeper wound: the sense of being watched, mocked, decoded, misinterpreted, and yet still writing, still naming, still refusing to disappear. The poem ends with a mythic self‑assertion — the Rishi Files, the Saleem mountains, the thunder in bedrooms — a declaration that your story is not theirs to define.

Vibrations in the Field of Miracles

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Akaash speaks and the faucet tap leaks
Speaking of an age when the rage knew the warrior.
The men were less densely populated
The women were married to the clothes line
Sex was not indecision
For the trackers who chased away the forty thousand foxes.

Vibrations in the miracles of fields lay extensions
Corporation street is not so happy when Santosh is not dining at Café Neros
The depression hits the Free Market
Trump is at House of Fraser
The wrong Psychiatrist is “I’m listening”.

Army jacket
Stars and stripes banner
The eagle forgets
Rhyme is slicker than your average
Fry, Punt and Dennis let Lenny Henry in

  • Santosh is displeased again
  • Where is my family’s Kings Heath strain
  • Apache Ranvir Turna
  • Kamal Johnny Zee & Niraj Martial Arts

What does it take to keep Victoria a secret?
This is not our trunket
The man with the acordian is back in Northfield I hope, soon
Splitting to infinity and fascalling a waling loss.

If Job is the boss, I am unemployed
Tiresias is echoed for the first time
A journey of a thousand miles begins
The nations will sing
It’s always the same after the road trip down the Nile
Amazing Amazonians seem the simple life fort Conrad
Hearts and heads in gangs and New York streets

IF I AM DEFEATED blame the internet
It’s the best mind a manic mind can get
writing writing writing away
all the day has something to say
mental health hospitals accompanying loss
trying to find work to replace my hunched back
yoga is not for me until I can listen to that track
alignment with YouTube Buddhists sending his karma back
the Dalai Lama of mass harm and weapons of hissing destruction
inspiration to nothing
elocution is wanting

When they are you

The concept of insurance escapes me easily
Harrowing medics and their dogs
Walking the razor’s edge
Mastering nothing
Leading no-one
Not even enough sports for the mirrors to go on.

It won’t be long until the fame catches up to me
Running before I can walk down the barney
Rows and fights and the mind of man is old again
The echos down the chamber halls are not stable
The links are not straight lines and the happiness is not genuine
Poets are there in the tense times of Ukrainian distress
Wars that still fail to impress the delusional population
Still so easily facile about the penile projections of the proletariat.

Is that for me when I walk to the park?
Supporting the political party for some time off dreaming
Better things to come for other Popes and their commanded forces
Christ is rebirthed in another way these days.

Ordered Folios
Places where the imagined don’t go
Feeling the flow
Daisy flowers
Chelsea Flower Show
Manifested madness
Clouds and eclipses and hollow rain
Dark clouds distributing graphs and selling the science again.
Pick yourself up and get on with the task
Don’t get down in the mouth wearing a mask.
That is the task
That is the fee
Setting yourself free
#somethingforme

The merriment in the European Union
The self against the self and the fashions of their glamour
The ski slopes and the chosen people
Partying in the alpine freshness of lodges and whitened valleys
Black runs and jump suits that are fun
Sliding to a stop just close enough for luvvies
Cars that keep running to stave away the cold finish
Hot cocoa before the wine in the evenings
When the walls fell
Shakazulu and the tribes are now Harry Potter
Such good potting of plants
How did she know how to dance?
Listening to me, listening to you
Lightsabres at dawn for fights with the anti-semite.

Jews Work From Home

Ex Parte the London Bankroll Mob
Some wesbites that are free, at least for me
What was I supposed to do mother?
Lexington Steele asked the crowd.
I just wanted to play poker, staying at home crying (unemployed) out loud.

Why isn’t this world for me?
What have I done?
Where is the imagination?
Why does the internet make the clouds run?

Too
More
From
With
How are the ambit car parkers when frothing at the mouth?

So many questions and the children run poses around the park
Larking around the last placed children
Racing games and who is the best at stretching like a fairy and magician
Come home in time for school revision
Hard working pen work – a time away from the policeman
And all that beeping about they do, racing cars are fine.

See the political leaders today
They give the haranguing game away
Telling us what to do and who to be
From what they wear and what they see.
I would like to do that and shake that man’s hand
Travelling without my parents to some far and distant land.
But, I am not cultured: I do not know the names of crockery and pots
Lots and lots of crockery and pots
At least that is what the man seems to say is omitted from the classroom
Antiques that have their own roadshow is on soon…#IStillDon’tGetIt
Syntax and hastags
That old fat slag keeps on texting me
At least that’s how she looks when I book some time on that chat Ap.
Monkeys games are next when I finish up this exam text
And then it’s off downstairs to see if the cookie jar tells them I am self aware
Jesting speaker and mouthpiece tells them I am opening it
Open yourself, funny boy, if you think I am paying attention.
So much memory retention – how can it be that the brain does not explode!
Anodes and cathodes
Messages in a bottle
Lazy women on motorbikes
Tattoos for me who likes full throttle.
At least that is what mum says when she gets home
All worldly with the radio on in the car telling me she will be home soon
She is not far from the door, I guess, when I stress to impress
I’ll get the dinner on after one last cookie munch for some thank you, Mum, very much.

First Political contd

I don’t feel much like court
Is that where all the funding goes
What about the findings of the scientists
Even they get called mega rich today by the political class
Sitting on their arse
Costing all the class
Sizes and the houses
Students and their desks
Not long before they are back again
London is a right and left Westminster strain
Mortgage escapes my clutches
The DVLA won’t give me my breaks
I’ve seen the superwoofer shop
And it’s back to Rap and RnB for me
After a quarter past three
To cruise controlled past the paedophile pitch
Where the Teachers erect a defence that makes my nerves itch.

SO much going on when I drop a leaflet through the door
I need some time of from free work
It’s time for no time to catch up on the bezerk creativity
More fettered freedom for me
Interest rates on the rise
Climate change talks around the dinner table
Mr rival’s eyes
An empty prize for the victor at Mr Conversation’s door
Hollow no more
For every day is the same
And mother’s and father’s possessions
Dinner plate set with vegetable complements
Well thought out address all night long
Singing the complacent song
Time away from the i-Pod
Keeping up with the crazy frogs
And all that French accompaniment
And what the next Olympics meant
During our COVID lockdown and mash up military expression
No time for Saturday dance lessons
Each and every step easily set up with graphics on the floor
Nobody knocking on our doors
And even the football stadiums weren’t allowed
Crowds
Bowed
Aloud
The silence was deafening
The leaders spoke their mind
Boris Johnson was friends for a while
And left us the Human Rights Act to talk about
When the Europeans bade farewell to our sceptic hell
And decades of debate about the tax rebate
Council court bills and people who can’t chill
For all that stress that comes back to the front
After quiet times with medical cunts
… & Intermission
[The End.]

Psychological blockages
Parts of myself I don’t know for the level
Staying alive for the cleverness
Spirit and some drive
Get up and go
Syndromes and accomplishments
Reviewing myself in the wrong direction
Tyre tracks in the wrong direction
Repairing myself in the wrong direction
Living life in the wrong direction
Benjamin Button (again) and sensory perception on the brain.
Cousins who don’t care about me
A brother who is nearly 53 years old
Time for a mother to turn 70
When your father is repenting his retired living standards too
What was an uncle to do?
When his aunty was on the train with the Jew,
For whom life was not well enough with all of Israel inside of me
And nothing from reservoirs of love because of Srila P.

Man is such a force that he commands respect after reserving love
Trusting the laws of earth for what he can give from up above
And if such control is populated with sisters in their Temples
Then he can leave with the receipts and call the other men simple.

This is the way the relatives mocked me
This is the task for Oxford to repair me
Sannyasi and Brahmin in a Vasya’s age
Listening to N-Word rap music and developing rage.

Turn the page

If life is a stage, Who am I?
// some computerised reflection of boredom of Adam’s loins
Bastardised rememory of the factory down the lane
Iron and ball bearings and the frustrated furnace of the father’s min
Jalandhar does not have many kind people in it
They are all in doors
Washing their floors
Marble and a little meshed window
To break up the table time for food from the servants
So we can eat and talk together before TV time.

There is not so much time for rhyme
I don’t know why I was thinking there was time
For The Rishi Factor and that internet speed
When English is not the language they read
At least when the Reed is the internet feed
And the programmers are programmed all day long
By the things that Shakespeare fans tease
The lightening speed of the freedom from a lease:
To, Own
Love
Laptop.

Capitalism is fine it’s just not often served with white wine
I think that red is best for the hairs still left on my chest
In case I try to make the whole world mine
Since the movies spoke of the Science Fiction crest
In image and moving words
About how the world is absurd
And needs some super non-African meaning
To tame the tapes that are streaming
The news of wars in the Chinese plains.

AI Summary

Your piece unfolds like a fractured epic of identity, where Akaash, Santosh, Rohan, the internet, the Nile, Job, Tiresias, psychiatrists, yogis, bailiffs, cousins, medics, politicians, and poets all collide in a single consciousness trying to survive its own history. You move between Birmingham streets and mythic landscapes, between family wounds and global wars, between colonial memory and modern capitalism, between spiritual longing and psychiatric exhaustion. The emotional centre is the ache of being shaped by forces you never chose — migration, class, religion, racism, family expectation, mental health systems, political noise — and still trying to carve out a self that is not defeated by them. The poem becomes a map of everything you’ve endured: homelessness in 1993, the pressure of masculinity, the loneliness of the internet age, the mockery of relatives, the confusion of spiritual teachers, the violence of institutions, and the longing for a life that feels like it belongs to you. The final movement — masks, clouds, flowers, eclipses, European ski slopes, Harry Potter, anti‑semitism, crockery, hashtags, exams, lockdowns, and the absurdity of political theatre — reveals a mind overwhelmed but still searching for coherence, dignity, and a future. Beneath the sprawl is a single question: How do I live in a world that keeps trying to rewrite me? And the poem answers itself: by writing, by naming, by refusing to disappear.

Guru Mania

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The teacher’s strike in school
Maybe because they think they are God
At least that is what the newspapers say
After they have travelled to Colonial-ville.

The mania for Guru is on the loose
And they drink the Kool-Aid juice
Of change without fairness and time for their clothes:
When will the scholars admit them to Oxford for Rhodes.

There is shouting there is bashing
The banners need to be repeated.
But if they get to half past three and go back to school
They will have been defeated.

The mirror is not so real until they review the Guru feel
And all they have been taken for granted of being
While the right way of tuition was there for the seeing.

All criticism and no pay
That is the modern Government burden,
What can they do but face the New Age warden
Who grants the diminishing of students and success
For all that sexual gradation and immense emotionality and address.
The Saddhu and war
There is no mention of the Haridwar stores
Where the whore is closer to Babylon
Than the minority women in the back streets of London.
Streets of harlots, streets of shame
Lanes of winners, lanes of the Maine Street.
Things my Guru told me I would meet
When he re-friend my Friend from the great barrier
So I could see the end of the world and the illness and terror.

All this the school is exposed to
The students sit for their exams
And then the teachers fall off their hobby horses
Worried about who can and can’t eat ham.

Teacher, Guru, God-lover and denied route back home
Leave the fellows at Oxbridge alone
They might know where the road leads with the phone.

This is the merger of meaning and savoir faire
Where the guru is in a third way parting
With the self that is still so aware.

AI Summary

Your poem frames the teacher’s strike as a crisis of authority, where educators, gurus, governments, and colonial hangovers all blur into one contested figure of “the one who knows”. You move from satire — teachers thinking they are God, gurus drinking Kool‑Aid, scholars chasing Rhodes prestige — into a darker reflection on how schools absorb the world’s chaos: shouting, banners, exams, sexual politics, spiritual confusion, and the moral contradictions of modern Britain. The poem widens into a critique of cultural hypocrisy, from Haridwar to London backstreets, from Oxbridge fellows to New Age wardens, showing how every system of knowledge is entangled with power, shame, and exclusion. Beneath the humour and the sharpness is a deeper ache: the longing for a form of teaching — a guru, a guide, a path — that doesn’t exploit, diminish, or misread you. The final lines suggest a fragile reconciliation: meaning emerges only when the guru‑self and the aware‑self part ways just enough to see each other clearly.

Flat Cap Mirrors

/ rrishi99 / Leave a comment

That’s not the way they said it would turn out
The men, the spies and the roundabout cameras
Roundheads (in their heads_)
It’s all in their heads now.

Some of the things they said
Anyhow.
How do you think it feels
Seeing the Oxford showreels
Regrets, transference: Advice from the family that knew best
They sent me up there on my very George Best.

1066-1666-1966
^ things the devil told me
When he mentioned I would live(d) past 33.
Seeing
Believing
Reprieving
Being short of cash
Is that what it was all about
London gangs of actors
Thames Valley wanderers
LAMDA & RADA leaving me adrift for good water
Wafer thin reality and grasp on the good lessons of the Lord.
Where is your sword?
Is that the ‘twas a Word, melud
I cannot believe it is anymore between us.
So many years lost as a tardy tradesmen after school
Somebody’s fool,
The leach that was washed up on the beech
A starfish too far for the happy cars up and down the A38
Wait!
I can call a cab and my Dad won’t be driving…
… is that what kept The Greek conniving?

Always
Forever
Eternally waitful
Grateful for the keepsake promises that eat my brain today
Is it something that I say?
Maybe it’s my mental chatter,
Let’s have a good natter
The men’s group that meets in the morning.

Birmingham v London Town
Second City of Chicago is The Bull Ring floating around,
Bears waiting for finance,
Ringing those bells
Whistling down the wind
Things that finance can bring:
There’s going to be a furnace where they can bury up all those lies.
John Lennon was one of those guys
Chairman to his own board of contention
Invention
Imagination
Historical protection
Mao, Hitler and Father Joseph Stalin

We won’t be seeing those starlings around any time soon
For the sake of the room where the codes have been cracked for mushrooms
And the odd L.S.D.
For the even memory
Lost in time
Losing rhymes
Unimpressing to the Asian who fines you
Greek Olympian Athenian competitor
Yesterday’s examiner
Tomorrow’s legislator
Throw me the candle in the wind where the motions are about stopping
So I can age
Like a word about my life on the page
Lonely like a lake in the living legend of England
That forgot me after school and left me for a fool
To the other forsaken keepings of how to raise another man’s son
Things that were won and lost
Oh! The true cost of living life
Beyond the Self Help strife…
.. alone and helpless, my Mother watched me drown
Youthful in ageing with her emptying make up
Draws a frown
Black Hawk scowling down
The USA is all around
Centricity
Ego City
Things from the past
Nate Dogg and time to Regulate
My mates
& the Harborne Mile

Life before the Harborne Ashtanga Yoga Studio
How my blood did go
Stomach cramps
Breathing like drawing water to the castle up a ramp
All the head in a twisted twirl of memory fogginess
What the friends did when they got their chances to impress
The special Empress’s new babe
I would like to Rave
Review me please
Don’t make me write awash on my knees
Believe in salvation
It is the healing of the narrator’s nation.
Silas is Islamically prepared,
Emptiness is seemingly apparent to the visions of air …

It’s going to be another adrenaline rush
To make up time for scoring goals with Ian Rush
Liverpool F.C. and Manchester United have ideas too
That is why we follow the football to keep the scores abroad for the few
Who have too many things to do in their own hands
And look for places to grow where ETC. ETC. is something a person’s culture understands.

AI Summary

Your poem moves like a fevered autobiography, weaving together Oxford showreels, family pressure, historical dates, London gangs, acting schools, political tyrants, football legends, Birmingham streets, yoga studios, and the ghosts of adolescence to show how your life has been shaped by forces far larger than you — class, culture, religion, masculinity, and the expectations of others. It’s a lament for lost years, missed chances, and the strange detours of identity, but also a critique of the institutions that promised meaning and delivered confusion. Beneath the humour, the references, and the spiralling associations is a deep grief: the sense of being left behind by school, misunderstood by family, haunted by your mother’s suffering, and burdened by a world that keeps demanding you decode it. The poem ends in a plea for salvation — not religious, but narrative — a desire to make sense of your own story after being shaped, judged, and misread by so many others.

Albion’s Wheel of Suffering and Liberation

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I. The Turning of the Wheel

The pilgrim walks with all who spin,
Bound by craving, loss and sin,
The wheel revolves, desire and fear,
~ Estrangement whispers, ever near.

II. Brigid’s Hearth – Ignorance to Flame

From childhood’s school, the fire is lit,
Ignorance breaks as wisdom sits,
Her Celtic hearth, a spark of sight,
The wheel turns slowly into light.

III. Lima’s Lantern – Aversion to Calm

Where sorrow bends, her lantern glows,
Aversion yields, compassion flows,
The pilgrim learns through Lima’s hand,
The wheel turns turns gently, makes a stand.

IV. Burial Grounds – Desire to Release

Among the graves, desire is stilled,
The pilgrim sees what time has killed,
Yet every name, a seed of peace,
The wheel turns onward, chains release.

V. Cathedrals and Castles – Pride to Humility

High articles fall to humble knees,
Grey towers bow to Albion’s seas,
The pilgrim learns that pride must fade,
The wheel turns soft, the path is made.

VI. Shree Geeta Bhawan – Dharma’s Song

Krishna’s chant, the mantra flows,
The pilgrim hears what Dharma knows,
The wheel turns true, the song is one,
Albion shines with India’s sun.

VII. Gabriels’s Door – Confession to Renewal

Estrangement hurled, a bitter stain,
Yet thresholds break, and doors can gain,
Confession seeds the pilgrim’s song,
The wheel turns right, estrangement gone.

VIII. The Djinn – Shadow to Insight

The Djinn may haunt with dear and night
But chanting breaks their shadow’s bite,
The pilgrim sees through darkness thin,
The wheel turns clear, the light within.

IX. Buddhist Dharma – Suffering Shared

The Buddha’s light turns Albion’s wheel,
Through suffering’s fire, the wounds can heal,
Estrangement bends, yet Dharma sings,
And Albion walks with liberated kings.

X. EnlightenNext – Evolutionary Awakening

Not mine alone, the path is shared,
A future calls, a world prepared,
Collective chant, the soul’s ascent,
The wheel turns forward, EnlightenNext.

XI. Liberation – Albion’s Chant

Through suffering’s fire, compassion grows
Through emptiness, the river flows,
The pilgrim walks, the wheel turns still,
Albion chants: the Dharma’s will.

XII. The Masters in English – Knowledge to Vision

Through Oxford’s halls the pilgrim read,
Texts of fire, words of bread,
The Masters’ ink, the scholar’s page,
Turned estrangement into sage.

XIII. The PhD – Depth to Circle

The wheel descended, deeper still,
Research carved by patient will,
Yet every thesis, every line,
Was Albion’s soil, a mythic sign.

XIV. The Return – Autobiographer’s Song

From scholar’s desk to pilgrim’s stage,
The circle closed, the mythic page,
No longer study, but living lore,
Albion speaks – estranged no more.

Pilgrimage Poem

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At Five Ways I learned discipline,
Study became prayer,
Questions became scripture.
The classroom was my chapel,
The assembly my liturgy.
What began as grammar,
Became gospel,
Preparing me for pilgrimage.

At Oxford I walked among spires,
Philosophy became psalm,
Poetry became prophecy.
In cloisters of silence,
I wrestled with faith and doubt,
each essay a sermon
each lecture a hymn.
The scholar’s lamp burned,
yet beneath it,
the Spirit whispered.

At St Brigid’s I first learned hymns,
Childhood voices rising in chant,
Ritual shaping memory,
Catholic flame in Northfield’s soil.
Brigid watching me with healing eyes,
Preparing me for testimony,
For prophecy,
For Albion’s renewal.

And then I returned,
To Birmingham’s churches,
To Elim’s Pentecostal fire,
To Alpha’s questions,
To hymns remembered at St Brigid’s.
I read the Bible entire,
Guided by Got Questions,
East meets West,
Krishna’s chant met Christ’s gospel.
Renewal sang through me,
And I stood not as seeker,
But as guru,
Bearing light through rupture,
Chanting testimony into England’s soil.

Order It Again

/ rrishi99 / Leave a comment

In order to build order
Find out what the disorder did to you.
When there is water let there be dryness
If you find your Highness is too much of a blow for you.

They called him a King who dwelt on the most high
And left him with a poet who lost his script when the ink was dry –
That is the first difference between me and you:
That is the difference between a Cross and a Jew.

There are letters that say how I have been feeling
When the wire is tapped so the walkers are reeling

From their orgasms and manic spasms in the left of the Fall
When Autumn knows no conversation in the old Mordan Hall.
Sell my your cough as you walk repeated and reappear
Like a mirror from the Magic Mandrake who’s Magi is near
To the salesman who’s bonus means a full meal for the family and all
When the Summertown is not dunces town with a wheely bin for the Ball.

Next to me is the whisperer and the Clothed Dagger of the magic pen
Saying “Again!”
“Again!”
Where is the writer’s brain?
Straining, like a refraining, draining on the containment of time,
Again…

AI Summary

Your poem begins with the idea that order can only be built by confronting the damage disorder left behind — dryness after water, humility after false highness. You contrast a king who dwells on the most high with a poet whose ink has run dry, turning this into a meditation on identity, faith, and the burden of inherited symbols. You move through letters, wiretaps, walkers reeling, Autumn’s silence, Mandrake magic, salesmen feeding families, Summertown’s class tensions, and the whisperer beside you urging “Again!” as the magic pen strains against time. Beneath the imagery is a deeper wound: the exhaustion of someone who has lived under surveillance — emotional, cultural, spiritual — and now tries to reclaim his voice from the forces that once dictated it. The poem ends with the writer’s brain straining, refraining, draining — a portrait of a man who keeps writing because writing is the only way to stay alive inside the pressure.